Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Frustrated with my Computer Blog Uploader

I had this really great blog, or so I thought, all typed up, tags in place and about to put in the title and press upload, and then it happened.  Whatever "it" is I still don't know, all I know is I lost my blog. I do know that there were 7 paragraphs and 1700+ words in that blog, and I'd spell checked it and everything and in my opinion it was a great one.  In reality my computer might have done myself and my readers a favor as this blog could have just been a jumbled mess of confusion due to the weeks of insomnia and the numerous pills I am taking to sleep (prescribed) but all I get is a hungover feeling the next day.  So maybe you will be getting this blog instead of a wonderful one, or maybe you will be getting a better one.  And the way I'm feeling this blog, if it's better, then the one I lost was a really crummy one.  
So I spoke with my Dys. Spec. office nurse today.  I'm being taken off one of my medications and they are adding more of one of the others. I may have to have a sleep study done quicker than they first suggested, and I may need to see the neurologist again as it was suggested to me that these episodes of blacking out and unconcousness with the confusion may be linked to my migraines, especially since I have excruciating headaches afterwards. I do know that I'm really tired of falling and passing out and blacking out and forgetting what happened over and over.  Last night I thought I could go to the bathroom alone. After all, everyone but me was asleep, so why wake them right? WRONG!!! Well I made it to the bathroom. Was only just a little shaky. It was the trip back that was the problem.  Halfway back to the sofa belonging to my mother in law,  where I've been since Sunday night since I blacked out several times and couldn't make it home, I felt things quickly going hazy. Next thing I know my head is cradled in Eric's lap and he's calling my name.  I'd managed to do it again. This time I'd hurt my chin/jaw (face planted on an upside down plastic tote the kids had been playing with), rammed my left knee and shoulder into the floor leaving a carpet burn on my knee thru my pants.  So that was yesterday and todays early morning hours, and I had this great blog written detailing my call into my Dr. and all that good stuff, but now you just get this simple blog.  Long story short, I'm tired, still not sleeping but meds have been changed around some so maybe that will offer some sleep.  I may need to have a sleep study done before insurance kicks in as well as see the neurologist, but once again I'm just going to trust that God is going to make a way. Whether that be allowing me some refuge from my symptoms until I can have the testing or make it so that all my disability claims are accepted. Whatever it is, I know that God's will is the perfect one.  I know there is a time and season for every thing because God's word tells me.

A Time for Everything (Ecclesiastes chapter 3)
1There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

I marked some in bold because for me they stand out. Healing, mending that which is torn, peace for that which is war ridden.  My body needs healing, it needs mending in the torn and broken places, and I need peace in my body, mind, and spirit because this disease causes a war and battle to rage day in and day out within and without. It affects not only my body and myself, but my family.  My husband and children are suffering from watching this disease ravage itself upon me. But I know, because God's word tells me, that for everything there is a season.  And I know from watching the world that God created, that seasons come and seasons go. And I just have to wait upon the Lord.

Isaiah 40:31  But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew [their] strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; [and] they shall walk, and not faint.

I'm just waiting for the day when I can walk and not faint, when I can run and do every day things and my body doesn't grow weary.  
So again, I'm clinging to God's scriptures, to his promises.  He gave them to us, so we might as well use them!!!

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