Saturday, January 16, 2010

It’s Been Awhile!!!

Well I find myself deciding that I need to update this blog. It may wander a bit here and there because it’s after 2 am and I’m brain-fogged. But here goes. :)  There have been a few changes in my health since my last blog. Main update here is that I haven’t blacked out, which has been quite nice.  Hitting the floor hard is not something I enjoyed. Many bumps and bruises, scrapes and sore spots from where I landed were such a daily occurrence there for a while. One scrape has finally healed over in the past week.  I caught another bad cold just before Christmas and in the last week I’ve finally seemed to get over that also.  So for now it seems that other than my heart rate and sleep causing me to feel tired and fatigued most days, I seem to be doing ok for now.  Only have the occasional serious headache/migraine problems as well. So there is my latest health in a nutshell.  I felt great today. I cooked supper without assistance, I partially cleaned my girls room today (that is going to need more attention tomorrow), and I managed to get outside and watch the girls while they enjoyed the warmer weather we had for a change today.  So today has been the best day that I’ve had since before Thanksgiving at least.  I thoroughly enjoyed it too!

This past Wednesday our children’s pastor called asking if the girls could go to church. Eric works evenings so we usually miss all the Wednesday services, so of course I was thankful that someone asked for them to go. I decided to go along as well once I saw how nervous my oldest little girl was when she realized I would be home alone.  I just couldn’t bear the thought of worrying her more than she already does. So I managed to get us 3 dressed and ready on time.  It was so nice to get out of the house and be around people in the middle of the week! The weeks are so long due to me never getting out during the mid week that often. 

So I get to class and it’s just myself, Sis. Carolyn, and my pastor Bro. Wallace. We ended up discussing my disease more and I explained it more to my pastor and Carolyn. We eventually got on the subject of my blog and computers and how often I’m on the computer. And from that conversation I got a new goal to work towards! Right now I’m in the middle of learning more about blog template design so that I can build a custom blog site for our church! I’m really excited about all the computer work they’ve asked me to do!  I love working with power point and anything to do with photos. So with all the stuff we discussed that I will be doing this year should have many more interesting days than this last one had! Online gaming and face book can only keep my interest for so long and then the days start to drag. Since I’m pretty much in a recliner all afternoon while Eric works to cut down my risk of falling while being home alone with the girls, this is going to work out perfect for me!  So I’ve spent the last 3 days reading tutorials online and using what I learn to change a practice template that was provided by the tutorial author. I know that learning the HTML and CSS and all the codes will take me longer than it would have 8 or 10 years ago, but I’m determined to learn it, no matter how long it takes! I’ve set up a private practice blog that I can just change and play around with until I learn. So it’s going to be an interesting year for me… with the brain fog and all the codes I’ll be staring at ever day I’m quite curious to see what this jumbled brain of mine can accomplish!

So there it is, my last month in just a few paragraphs. Not very exciting reading but trust me, I’m excited about this year! I have goals and aspirations. My resolution this year was to work towards getting better and finding something worthwhile to do. I think I’m on the right track now! I have something to look forward to learning while I try and work out my medical issues and I have a great Doctor that I’ll be meeting with again next month who I have great faith that she’ll be able to get me sorted out. After all, I do believe it was God that led me to her office and to her.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. (Jeremiah 11-14 NIV)

I know that God holds my life in His hands. The very hands that fashioned me in my mother’s womb back in 1980. He wouldn’t have taken the time to place each individual cell in it’s place to give me life, only to let this disease take it from me. I may not have the life exactly as I planned, but after all the scripture doesn’t say it’s our plans that will prosper us and not harm us, but HIS PLANS!!!  So I’ll cling to my faith in His word. My life has been, is now, and always will be in HIS HANDS!!!

So until next time, I’ll leave you with that scripture and that thought. Never forget Who Holds Your Life In His Hands!!! He holds your current situation and your tomorrows! He held you during all your yesterdays! He’s the creator of all life, and all life is precious… Your life is precious! I know some of my Dys. friends read my blog and I know that there are days when this disease just really wipes us out. Some days you just don’t feel like fighting and moving on, you just wanna quit! Trust me, I know. But I also am reminded daily that God created me and like a friend told me on Wed. night. Her mother has had MS for many years. But my friend said that her mom has always said she was blessed to have MS, because it meant to her that God trusted her to not give up and walk away from her faith in Him. I might not have those words exactly right, but that’s gonna be my new motto. This disease may have taken a lot from me, but I’m gonna trust that God is going to replace those lost things with much more important ones! I won’t give up my faith in God and walk away, and I’ll never blame God for my disease! Like I said, He fashioned me in my mother’s womb… He knows what my tomorrow’s hold! I will trust in Him!!!  For His plans have always been to prosper me and not harm me. Plans to give me hope and a future! After all, who do you think led our children’s pastor to call us on Wednesday night, offering to pick us up for church, leading to the conversation that led to me having something to do this year??? I don’t believe in chance… I believe this was God giving me a bit back to replace what I’ve lost… Hope for my future!

All things work together for the good of them that love God! (first part of Rom 8:28)

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