Thursday, May 20, 2010

Take Time

DamselFly and Flower2
Originally uploaded by M.Powell Photog
The delicate gems of this world
Are often overlooked
A tiny flower low to the ground
A willowy damselfly flitting around
So often we just pass them by
Jewels we miss with the naked eye
Gifts from God for us to treasure
Yet we often give them no measure
Our lives are swiftly in decline
As we rush around fighting time
So take a moment, slow down and see
What God has placed so beautifully
And take the time to magnify
The Creator of this willowy damselfly

He Left the Nest...

He Left the Nest...
Originally uploaded by M.Powell Photog
He left the nest
He up and flew
To his perch
To have a view
He sat longer still
As if to say
I'm not far from my nest,
Should I go or stay?
And off he flew
Up higher still
Deciding to leave
And form his own will.

Monday, May 17, 2010

My Beautiful Friend Donna

Today I attended and sang at another funeral, or celebration of life, of a dear friend and sister in the Lord.  Sis. Donna Mashburn was such an example of how we should live our lives!  When I was really sick last year and since then, she constantly was a source of encouragement to me.  She reminded me that God is always in control, to never quit fighting, and always to find the blessings of the situation.  Each and every Sunday or Wednesday night that she would make it to church on her husbands arm, it would make it impossible for me to make an excuse on why I can't do something or be somewhere.  It is always in my mind that if she could make it to church and stand and worship the Lord, then so could I.  She was a great encourager to me in my music ministry as well.  As long as I've known her she never failed to let me know she enjoyed it and that it blessed her.  She recorded me singing in church and would post it to her facebook.  It always meant so much to me to know that my ministry of music was a blessing to others.  Her smile was infectious!  You could never feel down or sad around her because she was always smiling!  Her voice was soothing yet strong when she spoke about her Lord.  She loved Jesus with every fiber of her being, and her life was proof of it.  All who came into contact with her never walked away the same.  Her existence changed people and the world around her.  She was a witness for Christ in ever aspect; her job, her passion for helping others, her wonderful talent of cooking/baking, her marriage, her children... every thing she touched she did so by putting God first and allowing Him to lead her into the way she should go or do the current task.
I will miss her dearly, every day without her here is a sad one.  Yet I could never ask for her back.  See Donna did all these wonderful, kind, selfless, and loving acts even while living with MS.  She conquered that disease every day and each day she woke up it was a kick in the face for MS!  She didn't let it stop her from being a wonderful and Godly wife, mother, and friend.  Instead it became a sort of witness opportunity for her.  Praise God in the good times, and Praise God in the not so good times.  Worship God in all things you do despite the physical struggles you may face.  Live your life as if you could not be alive the next moment.  No matter the circumstance, SERVE and LOVE GOD!!! So thank you to my wonderful friend and hero of sorts, Donna.  I miss you so very much and I hope that if you were able to hear all that was said of you today at your celebration, it brought you joy.  I hope that if you were able to hear the song I sang that you were blessed by it and know that I love you very much.  Enjoy Heaven! Enjoy lavishing your love on the Savior and worshiping at His feet.  Save me a seat beside you in the Heavenly Choir, and I'll see you soon. Always thinking of you, Miranda

If anyone is interested in reading the memorial blog I wrote for her on our church page click here.

Friday, May 7, 2010

My Children and My Journal

I started a journal this week.  I'm not very good at keeping them going though, but I hope to be able to keep this one current.  It's not an electronic journal (surprise, surprise huh!) but it's all hand written.  I chose to do this because I recently realized how much it helps to leave behind your thoughts, ideas, and even whimsical remarks for your children.  Not yet a year ago our family lost whom I called "The Queen Matriarch", our Big Mamma.  She was my husbands grandmother, yet just as much mine as his due to how much she loved me and I her.  She wrote things down.  Kept a small notebook handy and would jot things down or write poetry.  She wrote things about her family, things that she treasured about them.  One entry was about my daughter, Serena.  Big Mamma wrote something to the effect of: Serena ran into the house and said We're having 2 tomatoes!  My daughter was referencing the impending storms and had been watching the news about the tornado warning.  Her Great Grandmother thought to write it down and it's a moment that won't be forgotten for those of us who read Big Mamma's writings. She had poems about her children, grandchildren, and her home place. Her thoughts written so much in the manner that if you read them aloud, you can almost hear her voice as if she's reading them to you.  They contain so much of her character that we will always be able to remember her even when in years to come memories get hazy or fade some. And they do, as much as we never want to lose those memories, we are human and our minds do grow older each day that passes.  So I'm writing.  For my children to have when the day comes that I'm called Home.  My first entry was a simple watercolor of a photograph that I'd taken while out walking with my girls. I plan to include many visual memories for them of our times together whether it be a photograph or sketch.  My second entry was basically a reminder to my 2 precious girls of how so very special they are, each in their own way, to me.  So I'm going to continue writing the old fashioned way with pen to paper, each time including a special memory for my girls to have.
I've learned as I've grown into adulthood that as a child time passes so quickly that we often overlook things because we are children, enjoying the moment with sheer joy and always in anticipation of the next event.  As children we give lots of hugs and kisses to our moms and dads never realizing how much those mean to them.  As teens we became wanna-be adults, and of course our parents were "cruel" or "mean" because they chose to enforce a rule or restriction, etc.  We would often fail to see the love in their eyes when they looked at us or the hurt in their eyes when we defied them and rebelled.  As a person entering into adulthood we perhaps began to recognize that all along our parents had good intentions, yet sometimes we still have that "My way or no way" mentality often causing us to end up hurt or sometimes in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Or perhaps we are entering into our own journey of creating a family of our own, and of course we still know what's best for us.  We might often wish that our parents would just "back off" and "stay out of our lives". Still sometimes forgetting that they only love us and that this is all just as new to them as it is to us!  I'm at the point now that I have 2 children of my own.  I went through all the above phases and in the last several years entered the phase where I 100% emphatically realize I need my mom, my dad, my mother in law, and father in law. I need them in my life, my husbands life, and my children's life. I've realized that family is something you never take for granted and this is a piece of truth I most definitely want my children to know always.
 And as my children continue to grow, I will continue to write, and I pray that when the time comes to hand over a journal (whether I'm here or gone on Home) that I can perhaps offer them some clarity in life.  Sometimes we just need to know that someone else has been through the same situations, or be reminded that we are valued and loved above all the treasures of this world.  I pray that my journals will be a soothing reminder of my love for my girls when they need it the most, just as Big Mamma's poems and writings were for her family.  I want written proof for my girls, so that they are able to look and see that yes it was a very rough day and yes I may have wanted to pull my hair out and just scream at the top of my lungs because of how they may have behaved, but with just a simple smile from them my heart melts and everything stressful is once again worth it.  That every pain melts when I look into their eyes.  Much like the day they were born, all the bedrest, sickness, pain was more than worth it the moment I heard their first cries and saw their sweet brand new face.
When my kids grow up I want them to see through my eyes the potential I see in them. I want them to see through my eyes the love I have for them.  I want them to always have a tangible reminder of just how very precious they are to me.  Of course much like this blog I'll infuse the journals with scripture, reminding them how very important God's word is.  So I'm going to do my best to keep these "pen to paper" journals current.  I never want to take life for granted, and I promised my baby girls that I would be there for them always.  I know that physically that isn't the case, but maybe just maybe this is the way that I can be.  Like they say, babies don't come with a manual.  But maybe that's because as mom's we don't write down what gets us through it all to hand down to our daughters and sons when they have their children.  Sometimes it's easier to take advice if it's written and read in your own time, rather than hearing it from someone when a child is in your ear screaming!
  Like I said before, the mind is fleeting and fades with time.  Especially mine with all the brain fog from the dysautonomia. Perhaps the journals may even help me in my day to day life, helping me remember the things I so often forget. And now my ramblings must come to an end, for it doesn't take long for this mind to tire and things are growing hazy now. So here's are two quotes, food for thought if you will.
"The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought, this in turn makes us think more deeply about life, which helps us regain our equilibrium." -Norbett Platt.
"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.  ~William Wordsworth"
We can all use a little equilibrium in life :)  Have a wonderful day and may God richly bless you and be with you.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I am a Fabulous Sugar Doll blogger!

Thanks to Selena at Oh My Aches and Pains! for the Sugar Doll Blogger Award!    So many thanks for the award, and on my birthday no less!  I enjoy reading the blogs of others dealing with chronic diseases, and Selena's is no different.  She has survived and pressed through so much!
In accepting the Award I agree to name 10 things about me you may not know, and to pass the award on to other bloggers I enjoy reading. So here goes nothing :)

1. In Kindergarten I wrote a short story titled "Bad Weather" that won First place in the Young Authors Award for the State of Georgia.  I got to travel to the capital and accept awards which was way cool for a Kindergarten kid!

2.  I'm a preacher's kid and proud of it! My Dad and Mom are my greatest heroes and I couldn't ask for better parents!

3.  I am a horrible house decorator.  I do not have the ability to put things in a way that they look fashionable, Therefore, my home is mostly only decorated with photos of my children, but I love the scenery! :)

4.  I love music. I play acoustic guitar and own 2, but my Alvarez is my favorite. I also on an SG Epiphone Electric in a great shade of Deep Red, but I don't play it because after I bought it I realized that I just don't like Electric guitars and how they feel in my hands. I have played piano since I was 4 and went to Governor's Honors with it as a Senior in High School.  I have played Trumpet since 4th grade and am currently learning the flute. But my passion is singing... especially on the worship team at my church.

5.  I like to work with wood, but it's been over a year since I've been able to.  My first piece of woodwork as an adult a birdhouse and a Welcome sign for my door. I've made a few others for family.

6.  I love photography, and intend on learning all I can, but for now I love being able to use photography and editing software to express my ideas.

7.  I don't wear dresses. I hate them in fact!  I only own 2 skirts and they are currently packed away undoubtedly never to return to my closet!  I rarely wear dress clothes of any sort as I'm a jean and t-shirt or cotton button at the collar type shirt kinda girl.  I own a few pairs of cute sandals, but mostly it's tennis shoes and flip flaps for me.

8.  I love to fix things.  If it's broken I will not stop (unless my body sends me to the until I've figured out how to fix it.  Puzzling problems intrigue me and I once figured out how to repair my grandparents roof after a tree fell on it and really messed it up, all on my own and by myself.  When I ran into the dilemma of holding the wood in place while hammering and balancing on a ladder, I actually dreamed (yeah the ones you have while sleeping) the solution, tried it the next day and finished repairing the roof. In case you are wondering, I used very large vise grip style clamps and my shoulder and lots of muscle. In the end, the roof looked good as new :)

9.  I love trimming hedges. Only not as able to do it as in the past. But I like watching them go from scraggly overgrowth into well formed hedges. Nothing special, but I like it :)

10.  I love gathering fallen wood at night with my daughters, making a fire and cooking something on it late into the night.  Sometimes we just sit in the backyard way after midnight listening to the coyotes, owl, and the crackling of the fire while sharing their secret hopes and thoughts. It's amazing what you can learn about your kids if you take the time to sit and listen :)

Well there are my 10 very random things about myself that you may not have known. And know I bestow the honor of being a Fabulous Sugar Doll Blogger to some of my favorite bloggers!

Michele at Dysautonomia Normal
Michelle at Living with Bob (Dysautonomia)
Rachel at One Day At A Time
Lauren at Where Did I Get This Lemon
I also love Teresa's blog at Too Many Heartbeats and even though I know she was already nominated I'll do it again because her blog is another of my favorites!