Sunday, November 15, 2009

Another day another trial

Today I had another of those silent migraine episodes.  It wasn’t nearly as bad in intensity though, thank God.  But I am still suffering from the slurred speech and my head is hurting now in the “afterglow” of it all.  I knew last night that something just wasn’t quite right.  I was dizzier than usual and my balance was way off.  The girls kept acting up after we got them into bed and each time I’d get up to get them calmed down the balance was worse.  I just didn’t feel right.  On top of that I could not get to sleep.  Around 3 am I suppose I started losing my vision, it was getting blurry, so I just rolled over and tried to get to sleep.  Not sure what time it was when I was finally able to get to sleep.  I felt relatively fine, just tired when I woke up, and went to get my shower.  During my shower I got weak and the nausea hit.  This isn’t really anything new, as it happens quite often in the shower so I used the shower chair and finished my shower, got out and by the time I made it to my room I had to just lay down I was so weak and then it hit.  Confusion.  And when I tried to tell Eric what was wrong I realized that I couldn’t speak either.  Everything was just a garbled slur.  So here I am again, back to not being able to voice anything! Life is not fun sometimes!    But once the initial confusion wore off, the slur seemed to get a little better too.  But here it is around 6:30 in the evening.  I missed church due to the stupid nausea when I made any movement.  I missed the chance to help lead worship today, sorry for leaving you guys at the spur of the moment like that.  I missed the annual chili cook-off after church.  I missed being in church most of all.  I ended up spending my entire morning up until around 2 I think, in bed asleep.  My mother-in-law came over this morning, and I woke up for maybe 20 minutes tops and had to go back to sleep.  While I was asleep apparently she did some cleaning, and for that I’m so grateful for that.  I’ve only been awake for about 4 1/2 hours and I’m already tired again.  I’ve got the residual headache that happened last time this happened too.  But I’m thankful for some things.  I can still walk.  I can still talk, albeit I do have a slur.   But I am walking and I’m not sitting in an E.R. with rude Dr.’s who can not admit they don’t know what’s going on, giving me diagnosis’ that make no sense when you get down to it.  I’m not dealing with Dr.’s and nurses who when they don’t know what to say are rude and mean.  No, I’m sitting at home, reclined, watching America’s Funniest Home Videos, and writing my blog, all while enjoying the company of my family.  I know what’s going on this time around, and I’m not nearly as scared as I was the last time around.  I know what happened, and I know that the only thing I can do is give it time, be patient, and pray.  Yes, I’m frustrated and yes, I hate these stupid diseases that wreak havoc in my life. But I have so much to be thankful for that today, I am choosing not to cry over the things I have no control over.  Today I’m choosing to be thankful for the things I have control over and the things that make my life worth living.  I’m thankful for my family. I’m thankful for the love we have together. I’m thankful for the life we have together.  And I’m thankful for the faith in God that we all share together.  After all, at the end of the day, it’s these things that get me through the night to another tomorrow!

No comments: