Thursday, May 30, 2013

My baby is a blessing...

I'm lying here in bed resting, because that's what you have to do when you have a disease like Dysautonomia. Also because my OB told me yesterday that resting and hydration should help with the Braxton Hicks I've been having. Ya know, I don't believe I ever had ones that hurt with either of my pregnancies with my girls. I had the tightening sensation but that was closer to the end of my pregnancy and was more of a comfort issue than a painful one. This little boy makes being pregnant SO different! I've been having BH's that actually hurt for more than a month now. The first day kinda freaked me out because I'd never had them like that before, but now I know they are normal just not fun! :)  But in either case rest is the answer along with staying very hydrated. Two things I understand well after these past four years of my diagnosis. Rest and hydration are more than important for me, the are very necessary to keep myself from having what I call "crashes". I've had a couple episodes since becoming pregnant this time around and both times were during times I wasn't resting more than I was doing. There is a fine line you have to find and balance on with this disease. Add in the extra fatigue from growing a precious tiny human and finding and balancing on that line is a new challenge! But having said all this, I am not complaining, just stating how things are as of now.
  My mother made a comment below a facebook photo I had taken showing my growing belly. She stated, He sure is growing.  I think you enjoy your pregnancy more than anyone else. LOL. I love you."  I can't argue with her statement at all, in fact this was my reply. "That's because I know how blessed I am to carry this little boy! I thought for sure I'd never be able to have another!" And it's completely true! I never thought, even though I so desperately wanted, that I'd ever have another child. We'd randomly discussed it many times over the last four years and I would say to my husband that I probably shouldn't because of the disease and all. Then one day in December of 2012 we threw caution to the back of our minds and a few weeks later learned we were having another little baby. Just one single night and this beautiful baby boy I am now carrying was created and began growing into something beautiful! My girls were beyond thrilled! My oldest had been wanting a baby brother for the longest time and my youngest had recently declared she'd like a baby sister. (She has adjusted to the idea of a baby brother now, at first she wasn't thrilled though!)  In the beginning most of those close to us were very concerned. I understand that completely because I, too, had been concerned at times. But the sheer joy of knowing another blessing was on it's way pushed those concerns further into the back of my mind and they only occasionally pop up.
  Knowing that this broken body of mine is carrying and growing such a miracle gives me such joy. Every moment he kicks, even when they hurt, I'm so happy! When we have our appointments and hear that beautiful heart just beating away, my heart soars! The times we had ultrasounds and saw him for the first time and for the first time learned we were having a son, I can't explain the joy! For someone who is so dependent upon others for help so much of my life, this is one thing I get to do for someone else! I get to shelter him, care for him, love him, and carry him for my entire pregnancy and there is no one else who is able to do that. It's all me! Well, me and my Heavenly Father who has blessed me with knowledge enough to know how to care for my body so that I can care for my son. It is truly an amazing and wonderful feeling to know that even at this very moment my body is doing something other than failing me... it's helping support a tiny blessing that I'll soon hold in my arms and love on. A tiny blessing that I'll soon be able to introduce to the world and say, "See, here is a baby who will bring love and laughter. A baby who will soon grow into a boy who will love Jesus and share that love with others. A boy who will do amazing things and will grow into a man who will be kind and caring. A man who I will be proud to call my son as he walks and talks the ways of Christ."  Some will say that I can't say those things with certainty. I say that I can. Because the Bible tells me that if I train up a child in the way he should go, that when he's older he will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6)  Just as my husband and I do with our girls, our son will learn the ways of Christ, so that when he is grown and has become a man with his own life and family, he will then pass the torch on to his children.
  Yes, I am very blessed. I am very happy. I am beyond thrilled to be carrying this bouncing (and he does!) baby boy. And I am privileged that I'll get to see him grow into the man he is destined to become. And at the moment, I am more than overjoyed that I get to be the one, the sole caregiver, for this baby boy. It's not often in my Dysautonomic lifestyle that I get to say that! That in itself is my miracle!
  Be thankful for the miracles in life and strive to recognize them when they appear! Sometimes, others may not see that situation for the miracle it is. Be sure to remind them! Be sure to give Jesus the praise when He bestows blessings and miracles upon you! Have a wonderful day and be blessed in the Lord!


Cameron Von St James said...

Hey I have a quick question about your blog, could you email me when you have a chance? Thanks! -Cam

Miranda said...

Cameron Von St James, I don't have your email address. I know this reply is very late, but thought I'd give it a try anyway.