Saturday, September 19, 2009


  Sleep.  One word.  But such a meaningful word when you have Dysautonomia!  Last night once I finally fell asleep I slept like the dead. Not a movement, no waking, nothing. It was absolutely wonderful!  And I know that "slept like the dead" sounds a little harsh. Why not slept like a baby?  That sounds so sweet and wonderful! Well I'll tell you why I didn't say like a baby!  My babies did not sleep! *smiles*  They never really had those sleep thru the entire night moments where not a sound could wake them.  But sleep like the dead? Now that's some deep sleep! You aren't disturbed by anything! And that, my friends, was the sleep I finally had last night!
  Now if you don't suffer from not being able to sleep, then you don't understand why I would dedicate an entire post to the subject! But if you are one who just lays in the darkness at night as still as you possibly can, only to get up later to find something to do because your eyes refuse to get heavy, then you are on the same page with me. Sleep is something that is so vital to me, because without sleep, I become more symptomatic the next day. Without sleep my body screams the next day, "I can't do this!" My heart rates are most always higher. My vision gets blurrier much quicker. My brain is in a fog from the moment I wake up and as the day goes on, I get more clueless. I may repeat things. I may look at you and say, "I've been thinking..." and then I forget what it was I was thinking and wanted to say! I might get up and go to another part of the house, and before I get where I was going, I forget what I wanted or sometimes why I even got up!  There are many days that I feel like I understand my gram-ma Allen more and more.  She never could remember our names. She would list everyone of us until she got to the right person or just gave up... *smile*  I remember her trying to talk to me sometimes, and the word she wanted to use, she just couldn't find it.  So many of my "foggy" days remind me of my Gram-ma Allen.  Since this has happened to me, I am much more understanding to someone else who can't vocalize their thoughts.
  Today, tho, I have awoken with a clear mind! My words are not as slurred. My thoughts aren't all jumbled together like a 5000 piece puzzle in a dimly lit room. Today, my friend, I feel a little more "normal". Whatever that is, because it's been a while since I've had a normal day, so my definition might not match yours. But, I've started this day off without the foggy feeling drifting around me keeping my thoughts trapped inside my mind, and that is something to feel excited about!
  So hats off to sleeping! Hoo-rah for feeling rested! And a glorious day to you!

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